12 Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the LORD your God gives you.
Yesterday was Mother’s Day and I spent a good portion of it connecting with family. I got to speak with my parents last night because they were traveling home after being away for almost a month. They went to spend time with my great aunt, Titi, who is 94 years old and now bedridden.
My parents’ sole purpose in going to my aunt was to care for her. They took turns staying up through the night with her. They usually got about 3-4 hours of sleep at a time. I spoke with them several times while they were away and, quite frankly, they sounded exhausted.
During one of our phone calls, I told my mom that I had been contemplating this verse. I shared how whenever I thought of “honor your father and your mother” I thought of them. I thought of how they were honoring Titi, my mom’s second mom, by caring for her, being there for her, listening to her, serving her…by unconditionally loving her in an honorable way. They didn’t go and serve Titi out of guilt or obligation, but to honor her.
Titi is 94 years old. She is a proud, strong-willed woman. I would think that it might be hard for Titi to allow others to care for her in ways that we just don’t like to think about. When I think about my parents caring for her with such humility and unconditional love, it’s easy for me to know what honoring our parents looks like.
This verse in the context of the commandments seems to be a transition point from our relationship with The Divine, to our relationship with each other. Beginning with our earthly parents, we are guided in what our relationships should look like. This commandment is not one to recite to my children with the hopes that they will respect our roles as parents. But instead, this commandment is one for me to demonstrate to my children by honoring my parents. This commandment is an opportunity for us “show” our children what honoring our parents might look like, not “tell” them.
It was so good to talk with both of my parents yesterday. They both have shown me what honoring parents looks like. My hope is that my words and actions honor them.
