Gunk and garbage accumulated during the week gives me that much more to do.

Deadlines.  Unfinished work.

Things to do here.  Clutter to clear up there.

Movement is hurried and time seems short.

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed.  Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

Luke 10:38-42

Sit down.

Be still.

The tribute gave me an opportunity to really look at Romans 15:7 and consider how I live out this verse in my daily life.

Accept one another then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.

I’ve read this verse a number of times, but with E. LeBron Fairbanks tribute, my understanding was taken to new depths and I pray that it will change the way I approach tomorrow…and all my tomorrows.  Please read the tribute, and I pray that together, we can live a life that brings praise to God.

If I speak in the tongues of people and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.  For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.  When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a adult, I put childish ways behind me.   Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time.  – Romans 8:22

Like so many, when I hear the news or think about things that are going on around me, I get pretty overwhelmed—as in my previous post, Moving forward, where just taking another step on this journey requires a great amount of effort.  It was shortly after writing Moving forward, that I read the above from the book of Romans…and it gave me a lot of comfort.

Creation is active.  It didn’t just happen, it continues to happen.  This is why I love this passage–because it highlights the creation that is happening right now, in the present time.

Like a woman giving birth, there’s pain in the midst of creation.  And just like in the moments after both of my children were born, there is hope.  Hope for their future, hope for our roles as parents.  Hope and joy.

For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have?  But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. – Romans 8:24-25

It is through hope that we are able to take another step.  Hope isn’t seen.  Hope finds itself in faith.  Hope and faith are linked at the most basic level.  Hope is found in the depths of creation—in the reality of life.

And hope—is not hope at all—without patience.  It’s this patience that is present in the midst of the pains of creation.

Almost every evening a ritual plays out in our house. After we have had our evening meal and washed up we generally head for the living room with a cup of coffee to relax. As soon as Ann sits down Roxy, our dog, comes and sits in front of her and stares at her, this standard poodle language for get off your rear end and let me out.  Read the entire post…

Soon after, still yearning for spiritual depth, I began reading Isaiah.  When I got to the passage above, I stopped reading through the book of Isaiah, and contemplated the words of Isaiah.

6-7Seek God while he’s here to be found,
pray to him while he’s close at hand.
Let the wicked abandon their way of life
and the evil their way of thinking.
Let them come back to God, who is merciful,
come back to our God, who is lavish with forgiveness.

8-11“I don’t think the way you think.
The way you work isn’t the way I work.”
God’s Decree.
“For as the sky soars high above earth,
so the way I work surpasses the way you work,
and the way I think is beyond the way you think.
Isaiah 55:6-7, The Message

While I try to keep God in the middle of my life, I don’t always succeed as evidenced by my lack of posts for the month of September.  This past month has found me consistently distracted from spiritual contemplations.  I’ve been focused on work and trying to get better at what I do.  My work is always on the computer, so it often turns out that computer=work and thus the reason for my lack of postings.

But this post is not merely about how I’ve not been posting.  It’s more about how I’ve not been looking for God where God is easier to find.  Yes, God is completely beyond limits…limitless.  However, it’s quite unlikely that I’ll see God’s presence and influence in the midst of research or computer work.  Therefore, I need to look for God where it’s easier for me to see God.

Then when I go to the places where it’s easier to feel God’s presence, it’s kind of mind blowing how I feel more whole, content and welcomed.  As spiritual beings it almost feels like coming home and being loved regardless of where one has been.  It’s like a sunny day.  It’s like coming up for air.  Maybe this is part of what the author refers to as God’s forgiveness.  God just wants me–flawed as I am, God just wants me to live through those things that help to rise above the mundane.  The positive energy of God gives me the “it’s good you’ve come back home” feeling.  That’s mercy.  That’s forgiveness for the wayward child that I tend to be.

What I found interesting was right after the words on God’s mercy and forgiveness, there’s the declaration that our ways are different from God’s.  I couldn’t help but think that this wasn’t just about how God is divine and I am created being (although this is very much true).

But, if I think about it, and am honest with myself, the “lavish forgiveness” and love that goes along with God’s unlimited mercy tends to be a bit far away from my daily grind.  My version of ‘lavish forgiveness’ often is nothing more than tolerance.  When it comes to mercy, sometimes my version is unfortunately not much more than ‘I’ll deal with it’ or some level of acceptance, like, ‘this is just the way it is.’

God’s version IS so much more.  God’s mercy is abundant and overflowing.  It’s higher than the sky and deeper than the ocean.

chivalry |ˈ sh ivəlrē| – noun• the combination of qualities expected of an ideal knight, esp. courage, honor, courtesy, justice, and a readiness to help the weak.

A little girl (maybe 5 years old or so) told me that the strongest knights, don’t walk around in heavy metal armor.  She said that the strong knights’ armor is soft and nice to touch…like rose petals.  This was so that all of the children could climb onto the lap of the really strong knight and be happy feeling the soft rose petals as they played.

She also told me that these knights don’t have swords, but instead have spatulas which are much better for giving out warm chocolate chip cookies straight from the baking tin to everyone around.  Sometimes they even give out milk along with the light brown cookies just out of the oven (everyone knows that cookies out of the oven are fun for kids because they’re soft and gooey and are best had with cold milk).

Another thing that this little girl told me was that these knights love having animals around them.  Not big horses or scary animals.  But fun ones like small dogs and cats.  “Yes” she said, these are the best friends for the knights.

Then all at once, this small girl’s face became intensely thoughtful.  She told me that the sad thing was that many people don’t even see these knights.  They’re around, she assured me, but sometimes grownups work all day, and don’t see the knights.

“Oh yes, the knights that I’ve seen are the strongest knights ever, that’s why their armor is made of rose petals” she said as her face lit up once more by her smile.

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.      — Colossians 3:12

Happy Birthday, Jim.  You’re our postmodern knight and we love you.

I like to think…and I think all of the time.

But like most people, I push those thoughts that are uncomfortable, or even controversial, to the back of my mind.  For me, it’s healthier to process ideas and thoughts even though I’d rather not think about them.  It’s just the way I’m wired.

Sometimes, and this is the truth, I process things that confuse me (or something that I need to come to grips with) to such an extent that I don’t think about those bits of confusion again.  There have been times that I have experienced such intense conflict, and then after processing the cause, effects and resolution of the conflict, I’ve had difficulty remembering what the conflict was to begin with.

Having said that, I still have so much to think about, so much to process, and so many questions.  It seems that with each thought, many more questions bubble to the surface.   With each idea or internal conflict that I process, more questions with what seems like exponentially more conflicts emerge.  This is sometimes overwhelming, but mostly it reminds me that I’m very much alive.  And then, with each conflicting idea or long-held belief I face, when I choose to walk into the middle of that conflict, I am most often glad I did because I feel released from the strongholds of those thoughts or beliefs…and free to run.

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.  Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. All of us, then, who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you.  –Philippians 3:12-15

In the debatable and often controversial issue surrounding suicide, however elusive the resolution, one can’t help but see that there is a real manifestation of evil, pain and suffering.  In 2004, The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) and Prevention studies showed that suicide was the eleventh leading cause of death for all ages, and while it was the third leading cause of death among 15- 24-year olds, the impact of suicides crosses all age demographics.   With more than 32,000 deaths attributed to suicide in this 2004 study, this number doesn’t account for all of the families and friends that have to deal with the long-lasting effects of their loved one’s suicide.  (CDC 2005)

The preceding data clearly indicates a need for a spiritual response to the pain and suffering associated with suicide.  Those close to someone who has committed suicide often suffer extreme guilt, pain and suffering for years, and for some, the pain never goes away.  Most often the question “Why?” is one of the first that come to mind for family members and friends.    Such as, “Why didn’t he talk to us?” or, “Why didn’t she ask for help?”

As a community of faith, we need to be able to support and respond to those that have been close to someone who has committed suicide.  Whatever the doctrinal position of any particular denomination on suicide, those directly effected by suicide need spiritual/pastoral care.  Going back to the case of the teen suicide, what the grieving mother, father and family members needed (in addition to all those present at the funeral) was grace, hope and love.

With grace, God’s love is made available to all, in every situation.  I believe that extending God’s love through empathy and compassion, would be the most effective spiritual response to those suffering and a first step toward healing.  Putting it another way, whatever actions I take, my response must flow out of my own becoming one with the Spirit.  If this is the case (with God as my source of ‘becoming’ through presence of the Holy Spirit) any actions that I take or anything I do, would flow from God.  “Christian life is not one of striving to be holy in our own strength (our ‘flesh’), but one which is lived out through the energy of God’s own Spirit” (Oswalt, 117).

Understanding that the Spirit must be the source of my response, I would need to take action to support the family suffering from the tragedy of suicide.  First and foremost, is awareness of the individual’s needs to avoid “treating another as an object” by trying to communicate specific religious views.  To be aware of the needs of those suffering, one would need to listen carefully to both what is spoken and what is not.  Listening with emotional intelligence is essential in order to empathize and respond in a way that is meaningful to the person grieving by discovering the person’s “needs and life situation” before any action is taken.   As appropriate, and in the right context and time, having  counseling resources available could help those through the grieving process.  If I am aware of their faith, I would ask if I could pray with them, or for them.  My focus must remain on the person in pain and suffering in addition to the power of God’s healing.   (Haugk, 104-105)

Platitudes, attempts to answer the question “why?”, and the insensitive communication of theological or philosophical beliefs in the middle of tragedy would be vain attempts to make myself feel better, or maybe even make me feel as if I’m speaking with authority that I may not have.  This type of response would be self-focused, rather than focused on the family suffering–the others involved.  What is really needed is a ministry of presence where God works through the spiritually guided person, to reach the sufferer in their context, and extend God’s grace and love where they are.  In the case of the family dealing with the tragedy of their teenage son’s suicide, unfortunately, they grieved for many years…and all too silently.

If you, or someone you know is experiencing extreme pain and depression, please check out any of the following resources for help:

• www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
• www.afsp.org
• www.suicide.org

SUICIDE HOTLINES:

National Suicide Prevention Hotline:
1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
Deaf Hotline: 1-800-799-4TTY (1-800-799-4889)

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:
1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255)

Boystown Hotline:
1-800-448-3000

Covenant House Nineline
1-800-999-9999

Bibliography
Allen, Diogenes.  Christian Belief in a Postmodern World.  Louisville, KY: Westminster/
John Knox Press, 1989.
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Web-based Injury Statistics Query and     Reporting System (WISQARS) (2005). http://www.cdc.gov/ncipc/wisqars/default.htm.     Retrieved May 13, 2008.
Cholbi, Michael.  Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy: Suicide. http://plato.stanford.edu/
    entries/suicide/. Retrieved May 13, 2008.
Dillard, Raymond B., Longman III, Tremper.  An Introduction to the Old Testament.
Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 1994.
Goleman, Daniel.  Working With Emotional Intelligence.  New York, NY: Bantam Books, 1998.
Haugk, Kenneth C. Christian Caregiving: A Way of Life.  Minneapolis, MN: Augsburg     Publishing House, 1984.
Oswalt, John N. Called to be Holy: A Biblical Perspective. Nappanee, IN: Francis Asbury
Press, 1999.
Rapaille, Clotaire.  The Culture Code.  New York, NY: Broadway Books, 2006.
Shneidman, Edwin. The Autopsy of a Suicidal Mind. New York, NY: Oxford UP, 2004.
Wright, N.T. Evil and the Justice of God.  Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 2006.

Coupling what studies have revealed about the adolescence of the American culture with  what is understood about postmodernity, seems to increase the intensity of our reaction to evil.   N.T. Wright observes two problems with analyzing evil from the postmodern perspective.  First, it is “dehumanizing” in its evasion to shoulder responsibility of evil, and second, while postmodernity may acknowledge that evil is real, there is no “clue as to what we should do about it.”  (33)

Taking the case of the teen’s suicide, this was not the first time this teen had experimented with self strangulation.  In between the initial attempt and his suicide, there was no acknowledgment of the first incident and no counseling; it became his unspoken stigma.  When he died, there was an outpouring of grief but many of the students and townspeople had no outlet for their grief.  In the small town, there were no grief counselors, and no clergy or Christian counselors visited the school to help the students process this tragedy.

When the only religious voice spoke from a position of authority, all that was communicated was God’s condemnation of the teen.  Without sufficient emotional and spiritual processing of this death, how could the teens have been equipped to deal with, not only the loss of their friend, but also the goodness of God in the face of this evil?  If the only religious figure communicated condemnation with no hope of forgiveness, how might this have impacted a perspective of God, the presence of evil, and what happens after death?

At this point, philosophical consideration should be given to understanding God’s goodness in the face of evil.  If God as the creator is omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent and omnibenevolent, how could there be such evil, pain and suffering in the created order?  There are many differing opinions that offer answers to this question.  My belief is that the presence of evil need not contradict God’s nature, character or goodness.  I tend to agree with Diogenes Allen’s assertion that, “in removing all occasions of pain and suffering, and hence all challenge and all need for mutual care, we should have converted the world from a person-making into a static environment, which could not elicit moral growth.”    If it is understood that God as the Creator exists outside of creation, then God’s ways are beyond human understanding and while a full understanding of suffering is not possible, it does not necessarily contradict the goodness of 
God.  (351)

In the case of the teen suicide, what might have led him to take his own life?  Edwin Shneidman in his book, Autopsy of a Suicidal Mind contends,

“There may be spiritual, as well as physical, reasons for suicide, but most professionals and those who study the subject agree that mental illness, depression, mental pain, and even genetic patterns are probably at the root of most suicides.” (viii)

If this is the case for this particular teen suicide, it certainly fits within an understanding of evil where pain and suffering are the manifestations of evil.  And if God can exist outside of the created order as sovereign, can human beings claim God’s position when condemning deaths attributed to suicide?

While I have difficulty finding specific references condemning suicide in the Bible, some have referred to Exodus 20:13, “You shall not murder”,  as God’s condemnation of suicide.  This is difficult for me to process since it is generally understood by biblical scholars that in Exodus 20, the first four commandments focus on God’s chosen people’s relationship with the Lord God, the fifth commandment transitions from the realm of the Sovereign to the created order and the relationship with earthly parents, and the last five commandments outline how God’s chosen people are to live in community with each other.  (Dillard, 67)

I do feel that it is contrary to God’s intent for creation to take one’s own life (and perhaps the root of using the preceding commandment for condemnation).  Having said that, I can’t help but see the pain and suffering associated with suicide as a result of humanity’s departure from God’s order, and therefore, believe that it falls under the understanding that evil exists.  With that, some have cited Matthew 12:31-32 in their argument to condemn those who have committed suicide:

And so I tell you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven men, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven. Anyone who speaks a word against the Son of Man will be forgiven, but anyone who speaks against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven, either in this age or in the age to come.

Using these verses, the contention is that if one has accepted the Holy Spirit into their life, and then goes on to commit suicide, that individual has committed the unforgivable sin against the Holy Spirit.

A question that arises is, how does one understand the actions of a woman that ran into a burning building because she couldn’t find her dog.  The dog survived, but she died in the fire.   Some may state that while the individual was aware of the inherent dangers in the situation, they took the risk for the sake of a possibility to save another.  In the case of suicides, might their thought process, even misguided and thwarted by their own psychological state of pain and suffering, believe that their family, friends, or community, would be alleviated from burden…better off without them?  As horrible as this sounds, is it possible?

If nothing else, please understand this: I am not giving an excuse for suicide of any kind.  What I am trying to process (in the context of this blog) is the extreme pain and suffering present in suicide.  It’s something that has had a very deep impact on my own life and I just think we need to talk about it as a community/culture…and in a spiritual context.  The last installment for this series will be posted soon.

Allen, Diogenes.  Christian Belief in a Postmodern World.  Louisville, KY: Westminster/John Knox Press, 1989.

Dillard, Raymond B., Longman III, Tremper.  An Introduction to the Old Testament.  Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 1994.

Shneidman, Edwin. The Autopsy of a Suicidal Mind. New York, NY: Oxford UP, 2004.

Wright, N.T. Evil and the Justice of God.  Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 2006.