Gunk and garbage accumulated during the week gives me that much more to do.

Deadlines.  Unfinished work.

Things to do here.  Clutter to clear up there.

Movement is hurried and time seems short.

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed.  Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

Luke 10:38-42

Sit down.

Be still.

It is human misery and not pleasure which contains the secret of the divine wisdom.  All pleasure-seeking is the search for an artificial paradise, an intoxication, an enlargement.  But it gives us nothing except the experience that is vain.  Only the contemplation of our limitations and our misery puts us on a higher plane.
- Simone Weil”

For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but he who humbles himself will be exalted.” Luke 18:14

I’ve still been contemplating the 4-part series on Job–more than a month later.  In part 2 of the series, it was briefly mentioned that in the midst of pain and suffering, exists the opportunity to explore the “secret of…divine wisdom.”  Reading the book, Gravity and Grace by Simone Weil has only extended this thought process.

Simone Weil was a woman of extreme intelligence and brilliance.  She was born in 1909 and in her 34 short years, Weil’s mystical contemplations well grounded in philosophy and theology, were explored in humble service, hard labor, painful suffering, and social activism.  Admittedly, my brief words here cannot fully capture the mystery and depth of what I’ve come to learn of her life through her writing with the beauty of her writing truly containing insight and glimpses into The Divine.

As much as I’d like to avoid pain and suffering, and as much as I would wish that pain and suffering might not be experienced by any living being, I can’t help but come to the realization that it is the very suffering I strive to avoid which moves me beyond my own self-imposed limitations to something greater–something outside myself.

Now, I readily admit that others suffer more than I.  The question I must ask myself is, when I’m in the midst of a bad situation, am I emerging on the other side with a greater awareness of reality beyond myself? Or do I find myself focused on the hurt, pain, or guilt that I have been or am experiencing?  Is my focus outward or inward? If it is outward, then my awareness of others, the world, and matters of the Spirit can only increase–without limitation.  If my focus is in inward, then I am undoubtedly limited by my self–I have created my own impenetrable boundaries. While the Spirit resides in me, how can I reach the Spirit’s source if my self has put up a wall around it?  It cannot be reached.

What about pleasure?  Is it an artificial paradise as proposed by Weil?  I would not be so quick to pursue pleasure as I would be to pursue and experience of joy.  True joy can only be appreciated when compared to sorrow or pain.  And then when I yearn to experience true joy, where is that joy found?  Where do I look for joy?  Joy cannot be found where one looks for pleasure.  If I look for joy in material things, or even in the acceptance and affirmations from others, my joy is dependent on those things.  But if I search for joy in the midst of sorrow and pain, then the Spirit intervenes to reveal the “secrets of divine wisdom.”

I found it interesting that when Joseph wept this time, he “wept so loudly.” He couldn’t control his emotions. And this time the uncontrollable expression of emotion was over reconciliation—not hurt and pain. It seemed to me the reconciliation between the family members led to them being released from the pain of the past, like flood gates opening, so that healing could begin. And not only was the weeping loud, but Joseph allowed his emotions to be expressed out in the open—he didn’t turn away or seek solitude—he allowed himself to be seen as vulnerable to his family before he revealed that he was their lost brother.

When I read this chapter, especially in light of the continuing story, I was struck by how the pain of the past, however intense it was at the time, paled in comparison to the intensity of the total release that was felt and expressed with reconciliation. It made me think about the times in my life when I’d cried out with frustration over relationships gone wrong…but the crying out didn’t do anything to release the frustration…it stayed right there for me to keep on carrying along with me.

In contrast, however, when I took steps to right a relationship—to reconcile—there was such a release that I was able to let go of past hurts completely. This story reminded me that there’s no baggage with reconciliation. Joseph demonstrated his freedom from any baggage with his brothers when he said, “Now, therefore, it was not you who sent me here, but God.” Here Joseph is letting his brothers know that he holds onto nothing other than God’s plan for their lives.

This brought me to Luke 23:34, to where Jesus said, “Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing.” With those words and Jesus’ ultimate sacrifice on the cross, Jesus opened the door for our relationship with God to be restored and reconciled. Jesus took care of our baggage so we wouldn’t have to carry it any more. Maybe it’s time for us to lose control and live a life where we’re fully engaged in the journey toward God. Let’s walk with Jesus by learning what He’s said, understanding what He means and applying Jesus’ teachings to our lives.

© 2005 Ginny Rogers

This section of Genesis continues the story of God and Abram with God telling Abram to not be afraid, that God would be his protector, and that Abram will be rewarded. Right away I think of a couple of things. First, God reassures Abram that He’s going to be there for him, no matter what. Second, rough times are ahead.

Abram then asks God how everything’s going to work out, how the things that God is telling him will come about. He makes it clear that he doesn’t understand what’s going on. Then God gives Abram some detailed instructions and makes a covenant with him.

God makes a covenant with Abram—He promises to give the land to him and his children—children that Abram didn’t have yet.

In reading these chapters in Genesis, there was a cross-reference to Luke 1:72 in the New Testament. In an effort to learn a little about the connection between Luke 1:72 and Genesis 15:18, I jumped ahead to Luke and began reading about the events preceding the birth of Jesus. Leading up to Luke 1:72, Zechariah was told by the angel, Gabriel, that he was going to become a father to a son in his old age (kind of reminds me of Abram). But Zechariah had a hard time believing this, and because he doubted what Gabriel saying, God made it so that he was unable to talk until the birth of his son. Anyway, after the birth of his son, he regains his ability to talk and tells everyone that his son will be called “John” and refers back to God’s covenant with Abraham. Zechariah goes on to give insight into God’s plan and how John is to prepare the way for The Lord, by preparing the hearts and minds of the people for Jesus’ coming. It’s with Jesus that a new covenant is established, the Covenant of Grace.

As I’m trying to get my head around this, I find myself beginning to understand that the Covenant of Grace is God’s plan for us to be made complete…whole. God’s grace is not something that we can get on our own; it’s the gift of perfect love and forgiveness from God through Jesus’ sacrifice for us. It’s with Jesus that we learn about love and forgiveness; and the more we allow the love stories of His ministry to penetrate the core of who we are, the more we are changed from the inside out with Jesus’ love as the power source.

Going back to Abram and Sarai, God renames them to Abraham and Sarah as an expression of their change because of the covenant—they’re plan is God’s plan and they’re embarking on a new journey. They’ll keep going…the best they can…and sometimes this may mean taking matters into their own hands and sometimes it may mean that they will respond to what God says with confusion and disbelief. This just shows me that they’re regular folks, albeit changed by God, yet still doing the best they can to understand God’s plan for them…sometimes they get it, sometimes they don’t.

Please know this…I’m just traveling on this journey to learn more about God and His love for us through Jesus and the truth is, I’ve been changed. But, just because I’ve been changed, it doesn’t mean that I have all the answers. In fact, I know I don’t have many answers at all—and I’m okay with the fact that I won’t understand everything. I’m just doing my best to learn what I have the capacity to learn, and let go of the things that I might never get.

© 2005 Ginny Rogers